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| "It's hard to meet boys..."
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| Saturday, February 21, 2009
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 After watching 'He's Just Not That Into You' and speaking to some of my female friends, it kinda got me thinking about the whole concept of dating, especially in an Asian society like Singapore. What we see on the big screens and even on telly about dating is simply just.... not working here.
Sure, over in the freedom nation... a single girl feeling lonely and looking for a potential man to sleep with have the option of gong bar hopping, clubbing or just sit at a coffee joint in anticipation of a guy to simply drop right beside them and start a conversation which may or may not lead to a one night stand and/or relationship. Ask some American women where they met their men and you can be confident of hitting a 'oh i met him at that club...' or 'you know, we were at the supermarket and he started asking me about butter...' kind of reaction.
BUT here in Singapore... as an average single woman, you hardly get men coming up to you at a coffee joint or even at the clubs (unless they are totally high or have been dared by their mates). Usually relationships spring out from meeting friends of friends or the single woman and man were in the same social circle or setting which led to friendship which then led to a relationship. Hardly do you meet women who met their man while riding the bus or just happen to be working out at the same gym. Somehow asian men find it harder to approach random women and vice versa for fear of looking desperate and psycho.
So, indeed many women have complained that it is hard to date in Singapore unless you set yourself up in a social circle filled with single men. Then again, you still need the right time and conversation to start things going... if not, you would just be a single woman stuck in a horde of single men and nothing would come out of that. Even for me, I met my hubby through one of my good guy friends during the social setting of a cell group in church (and might I say, I am really grateful to have met him and have him in my life).
So my point is... the idea of just randomly meeting men at a club/pub/coffee join/supermarket/gym just like in the movies and falling madly in love, you can just forget about it here in Asia, or at least Singapore. The idea of protecting your image/reputation (if any) just stops single people from approaching one another just to strike up a conversation. No wonder the age of marriage has gone up and less kids are being born... cos it's just too hard to meet boys.
Some people might lay claim to the fact that Singapore has several dating agencies... but hey, what's your impression of dating agencies? (ans: desperate, older people, some might even fall into the category of left on the shelf). So that's out of the window. Singapore would definitely be a more dating friendly society if people (both men and women) could just be bolder and go up to someone they think is cute/hot/charming at ANY social setting and just say hi. Stop taking them as just eye candy and watch them from afar! Start doing something to make things work!
And to those who are being approached: please don't think that person is being psycho. He/She is just into you.
*Shanea Out (dating woes) @ 11:52am* |
posted by Jasmine Shanea @ 11:34 AM
 
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